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If there is no physical contact or actual sex, is it still an affair?“It’s not just that you’re communicating with someone online but that there is a sexual or emotional nature,” says Katherine Hertlein, Ph D, an associate professor at the University of Nevada in Las Vegas who studies online affairs.Every other element of our sexual relationship has also improved.But I’m incredibly jealous at the amount of sex she had before she met me, far more than I had before I met her.So when she would attempt to do that to me I made her stop.She felt rejected and that has impeded both the frequency and her enjoyment of any form of sex with me.Defining Infidelity What does it mean exactly for your wife or girlfriend to be unfaithful in today’s digital world? That said, after working with hundreds of betrayed spouses and their ultimately remorseful mates, the answer to the question of what defines infidelity remains as clear to me today as it was when Monica Lewinsky first stored away that stained little blue dress.Is physical contact necessary, or does a webcam mutual encounter with someone half a world away count equally? Intimate chat room discussions that evolve into a coffee get-together? In other words, with sexual infidelity, it’s more than the cheating itself or any specific sexual act that causes the deepest pain to a betrayed spouse or partner.

The growth in steamy chat room conversations and cybersex also has triggered a rethinking of the meaning of infidelity.

To report cheating or other technical problems, please report the issue.

Dear Prudence, My wife and I met 16 years ago when she was 19 years old, we married three years later, and I have been faithful and happy with her.

While men traditionally have been the more unfaithful sex, gender roles are reversing in some cases as more women experience cybersex.

“I think there is this bias that women don’t cheat for sexual reasons at all,” Hertlein says.

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